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/fic/ - Fanfic Review & Creation

The board for fanfiction review, brainstorming, critique, creation and discussion.
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File: 1343305512165.png (266.34 KB, 550x550)

!!Spike ## Mod 158Sticky[View]

Directory: >>159

Welcome to /fic/, the board for pony fanfiction and all things related to it! If you need help from other members or have a question, feel free to drop by the #fic IRC.

Posting Guidelines (or: the /fic/ Readme)

General:
#Tag your threads as appropriately as you can. You can make up your own tags, but try to make them descriptive of your thread or fic. Make a tag by typing "[#Your tag here]" in the text box.
● Use the Recommendation/Request General at >>79 if you want to recommend a story you haven't written or if you're looking for genre suggestions, a fic you can't remember the name of, etc.
● Instead of double posting to correct errors, edit your post with the Edit button, bottom right of the page. You can use this to update collections and open/close threads, too.

Posting stories:
● If you want to show off a story you wrote, include a story title, a description, story tags, and a link to the story (where applicable).
● If you have multiple stories, consider using one thread for all of your stories instead of making a thread for each story.
● If you're looking for help with your story, there's a directory of readily available reviewers here: >>159. If you need feedback on your story, you are strongly advised to post in one of them.
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soundslikeponies!bQsJPGMNfw 5588

I officially nominate filler to take filler's pla—oh god damn it!


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Golden Vision Reviews — Summer Edition 5634[View]

Hi there! For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Golden Vision. I like ponies, time travel, long walks on the beach, and tearing apart the heart and soul of any aspiring author who thinks they can write fanfiction.

Oh, don’t worry. You can come closer. I won’t bite. Much.

So, this is a review thread. In it, I shall glomp, wub, and boop your stories until they fall apart of internal bleeding. The times shall be hard, you and your ego will suffer, but I can promise that you’ll be a better author for it. Golden Vision Reviews™ does not actually make any legal claim to this effect, and is not responsible for the failings of n00b authors who do not know an em-dash from a proper noun.

This is a bit different from some other review threads, however. The preferred submission type is Google Docs; however, I will refrain from commenting on your fic Unless I really like you, or think that your fic so good that only a few minor corrections are needed. Instead, this thread will have a format more similar to that of a prereading one. For each story that I read, I will return a laundry list of problems that I found, as specific as I can make them, accompanied by at least one example for each (if at all possible) to give the author some perspective on what the problem is and how to fix it. Should anyone require a followup meeting with me to go over how, exactly, they can fix the listed problems (assuming that they’re unable to understand the resources I’ve provided them), I’ll be happy to take an hour or two to help you understand how to improve that part of your writing.

Just some quick rules. First, be reasonable and polite. Don’t flame me or anyone else in this thread, and don’t submit anything that’s just plain ridiculous (I usually start to back away around 10k words, or one chapter; by that point, I probably have a pretty good idea already of what your problems are). You are indeed welcome to resubmit, but if I see none of those problems fixed, that fic will be blacklisted and ignored until you can prove to me that you’ve done your utmost to address those issues.

Secondly, as I would suspect would be obvious, no clop or gore. Do your best to stay within MLPChan's standards; you should all know the rules by now. Thirdly, you are required to submit your fic both in this thread and in my reviewing queue, which I have linked below. Fourthly, if you have an upPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Review Request for Playing Along 5635

File: 1369535574072.png (763.22 KB, 900x950, 45857__safe_twilight-sparkle_f…)

>>5634
Allow me to steal this thread's virginity with Onyx Origins and the Or

Whoops, that was a close one!

But seriously, I would appreciate your opinion on a little piece of mine that goes by the name of Playing Along. As for its contents, well…


#Slice of Life

Tea parties, being the quintessential event of any young filly's life, are one of Twilight's favourite things to do, especially when her friends join her. However, it just isn't the same without her mother's fancy porcelain set, and so the young unicorn embarks on a personal journey of self-improvement to prove that she can use it.

Never did she imagine the ways it would strain her and, more importantly, her friends.

Twilight Sparkle has to grow up, and it's breaking her heart.
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5636

File: 1369536284558.gif (2 MB, 400x244, 28Kbl7c.gif)

Also,
>I like ponies, time travel, long walks on the beach, and tearing apart the heart and soul of any aspiring author who thinks they can write fanfiction.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=7b8Xz1i54nM#t=68s


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War of the Poets 5470[View]

The Submission Round is now complete. All poems can be found at https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oFEd3FSL3kUfNzVF9INCBSWVZPbk-2i3uT-LWlbzIDw. Voting begins Wednesday, May 22nd at 5 AM GMT.

The Voting Round has begun! Vote here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1PK-MBpZrMhLFoDSjXEyXAs-Xf5C81QhHW-zeBxZ9uJI/viewform. It ends Saturday, May 25th, at 5 AM GMT.

Let us play a game.
Come on now; it will be fun.
The best poet wins.


So I proposed the other day in the IRC a rather unique idea. We've all participated in writeoffs before, whether for longer fics, drabbles, or other little tidbits, but to my knowledge we've never had a competition that channels the spirit of rhyme and meter.

So! I propose that we have a Poetry Writeoff—a "War of the Poets," if you will. There seemed to be some interest on the IRC when I brought it up, so I hope it gets some participation. What are the rules?

1.) Submissions begin Friday, May 17th at 5 AM GMT, and end on Monday, May 19th at 5 AM GMT.
2.) There will be no required topic or idea. If it's poni, and you want to write about it, go ahead.
3.) There will likewise be no required format. Limerick? Free verse? Iambic pentameter? Haiku? If you want to use it, feel free.
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5630

>>5515
>>5491

These are mine, but I made them the best I could in the time I had. No regrets here but for the somewhat embarrassing murder of meter that I should have seen

>>5624
.
Sure, why not try again?

Again though, it might be a good idea to restrain ourselves to a slightly smaller pool of poetry forms next time. Took me hours to even find out what sort of form I was using (I’ve never even heard of quatrain poems as a form before and I was completely pulling that out from thin air, just to appease the almighty "form" on the submission), and I couldn't fairly even judge half of these because I mostly write fiction, not make poetry, and so I have no idea what constitutes a good usage of form beyond some simple basics.

War of the Poets — Results! 5632

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Again, thanks for participating, everyone. Whether you submitted, perused, voted, or all of the above, I hope you guys had as much fun as I did. Now, without further ado, here are the results!

———————————————————————

Top 5

Gold Medal
Muffins! by Pascoite (7.40)

Silver Medal
Derping by Muffin on a Hungry Afternoon by Pascoite (6.60)

Bronze Medal
Eclipse by Golden Vision (6.40)

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5633

>>5632
Personally, I don't think poetry is really something you can really rate, not by conventional voting standards. I mean, it's poetry. Not only must the poet be skilled in crafting the poem, the reader must also be skilled in analyzing what it means.

On a related note, I wrote Darkness of the Soul. The fact that it got anything higher than 1.0/10 deeply disturbs me–I thought the accented E was enough to throw it deep into Poe's Law territory.
This post was edited by its author on .


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Write-off: Round n 5597[View]

Accolades: http://writeoff.rogerdodger.me/scoreboard
All anthologies: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/fic+Write+Off
Current list of participants: http://goo.gl/15vdt

People say that if you can't explain your product in three seconds, then your product won't sell. I guess I'm out of seconds. This here is the write-off. It involves writing (and reading). Perhaps you would care to join? Here's the gist:

– Participants write stories over a 72 hour period
– The stories are written from a prompt decided at the event’s onset
– Participants submit their work to an anonymous anthology
– Readers then rate the stories
– Finally, everything gets wrapped up with author reveals and winners announced

If you’d like to participate, just leave a comment below in this webzone and I'll add you to the list.


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Corejo 5616

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We'll see if work allows and inspiration gifts me with words. I'm tentatively in.

5627

YES!!
Count me in!

Present!PeRFeCt9JM 5631

Huh, so it really is round n.

Dat starting time. And here I'd hoped to submit a few prompts. :(


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Synosis Reviews Ion-Sturm 520[View]

#Story Help #Discussion

Please note: this is not a standard review thread. It’s for synopses/descriptions rather than entire fics, and anyone may feel free to chime in. Previous thread at http: http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/122131.html

The synopsis, while small, is in some ways the most important part of a story. A good one can score you more readers, while a bad one can stop readers in their tracks. So here’s a mini-review thread. Submissions should include a title and tags, in addition to the synopsis.

General advice:

-Proofread. Proofread the buck out of your synopsis. If I see spelling and grammar errors, that doesn’t bode well for the fic proper.
-Keep it relatively short. A paragraph or two, sure, but don’t try to fit a whole chapter in there.
-Don’t try to be fancy. Ellipses, semicolons, em dashes, and suchlike are generally unnecessary in such a short piece.
-Don’t be vague. Don’t be coy. Don’t be mysterious.

That last covers a lot of ground. See, your synopsis is your first chance (and, in many cases, your only chance) to get a reader interested. Don’t hint at something which might maybe be cool and if we start reading we can find it; just go ahead and give us the cool thing. If you’re writing an intentionally vague synopsis and thinking, “Oh, the reader will see me being all mysterious, and they’ll be so desperate to know my secrets,” then you’re wrong. Readers, by and large, do not care that much.

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5625

>>5594
Thanks for the help. You're awesome.

5626

Heya, Tact.

>The first stroke of a bow quivering against an untested instrument.

I don't really like this sentence, both because it seems clunky, and it because it breaks the meter of the later two sentences. I'd suggest revising it into something like:
>The first stroke of a bow against a freshly-carved cello.

>The first few steps in a dance of life.

I'd make it "the dance of life."

>The first venture into a frightening and wonderful new world.

This works.

>It's true what they say: you always remember your first time.

This too.

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Tactical!fRainBOoMw 5628

>>5626

Here's what I came up with.

The first stroke of a bow quivering against an untested instrument. The first few steps in a dance of life. The first venture into a frightening and wonderful new world.

It's true what they say: you always remember your first time.

Your first song. Your first instrument. Your first love.



I wanted to take your advice for the first sentence (first fragment actually), but I couldn't figure out a way to do it while keeping the word "quiver."


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Official "Ask an Equestria Daily Pre-Reader Anything" Thread Daffodil 3742[View][Last 50 Posts]

Good evening, everypony, and welcome to the Ask An Equestria Daily Pre-Reader Anything thread (MLPchan Edition)! We've been doing this for a while now over on Ponychan, and figured it was about time to bring all the question-and-answer-y goodness over to this board.

The purpose of this thread is pretty much exactly what the title says: you ask questions, and we answer 'em. Questions can be related to fanfiction, general writing, Equestria Daily, the show, the fandom, Nicolas Cage, or really anything else you can think of – just be aware that you might not get a good answer if your question is about, say, quantum physics.

I'd normally put an FAQ in the OP, but I figure this is a new board with new people (somewhat) so I'm not sure what the frequently asked questions will even be! So assuming I haven't done something horrible with this OP and broken all the rules, feel free to ask away and we'll do our best to answer.

Current queue information: http://goo.gl/b7anF
Ponychan thread: http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/122969.html
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Snarkle(at)Office 5593

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>>5584
I… have difficulty seeing how that's a 'crossover'. Your characters are actually putting on a play, not assuming the roles, environments, or situations of Austen's England.

EDIT: To answer your question, it's ponies doing things. If the ponies are doing things, and being ponies, and it is written well, then I'd be willing to post it.
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5596

>>5593
okay, thanks

Snarkle(at)Office 5599

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>>5596
My pleasure.
(Now, if you mean the characters find that, somehow, in some sort of Stoppard-esque event, they begin to become the characters they portray, and realities begin to blend together, and yet you still pull the story out and make it coherent? I shall find where you live, ring your doorbell, and give you a hug. Beard included.)


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3037[View]

Previous thread >>120

Welcome, one and all, to the new and improved review thread of moi. As you can see from that fancy thing up above, name’s Figments.

Now, I’m not one for long-winded intros or some crazy things like that, so I’m just gonna get to straight to the point: allow me to help you help us all, but as you can see, I need your help to do just that.

I do have a few requirements for posting in this thread. Consider them just guidelines, ‘cause sometimes I won’t even enforce them if I’m in the right mood (which never happens).

1) Please read the sticky before posting. I’d hate to be the bearer of bad news if you miss something important.

2) Please adhere to the Standard Fic Posting Structure, or SFPS for short. This includes a space for each of the following: Title, Author, Appropriate Tags, Synopsis, Word Count, and the Link.

3) I only accept GDocs or MS Word Web App files. I do not even glance at FimFic links, and if you post those, you’re getting ignored.

4) Please submit only one chapter at a time. I don’t want people dumping 100k fics in 20 different parts for me to go through. Even a single chapter that's got more words than story wastes my time. So just keep them as short as possible.
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Review for Fullmetal Pony 4864

File: 1364270588201.jpg (1.8 MB, 1000x1429, 0a68b2e77c3da1c8e4488e73570e5b…)

>>4863

Damn, forgot your comments/inks:

http://sdrv.ms/X72gX1

Later, FMP

FullmetalPony 4865

>>4864
Ah the red ink! It bur… well, it's not too bad. I think I'll be re-writing the opening a bit to drive home that Pound is the protagonist.

Not much comment on the plot though other than the lack of emotion. Pound needs some work clearly, but what about the other characters?

A Heavy Crown FullmetalPony 5581

File: 1369367934809.jpg (70.44 KB, 250x370, sadcadance.jpg)

Author: Fullmetal Pony

Tags: Sad, Slice of Life, Romance

Synopsis (trying out a new one here): A unicorn with wings. There have been only two ponies of such nature. A third has now come into existence, but the weight of royalty may be too much to bear.
Links:
Chapter 1:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1L-YDdQXu-NGrZZWzXeQU3GT5MeYb3GMjghxTAcDIGmY/edit

Chapter 2: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zi7PtM08177Ut_E9bJGnMs9HJ8OgJGuRztSrO78ocF8/edit

Word Count: 6213


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Serious Syntax Sal !S570SjDkx. 5498[View]

#Tips & Tricks #Grammar #Discussion

One day I was a writing a story about polychormatic ponies when I suddenly thought about something. I asked myself, like I'm hoping sure every author has at some point, if what I was writing was conveying exactly what I wanted it to. Being me, I overthought and spent a good thirty minutes contemplating not just the words themselves, but their ordering in the sentence, the sentence's position within the paragraph, the specific feeling I wanted the paragraph to evoke, and so on. As this went on I found myself going beyond that, to seemingly simple things like quotation marks to more complex things like the very feeling of a word.

Any English author should know there are rules to the English language. To disregard those rules not only fogs the messages, meanings, and the very story itself to the reader, but oftentimes makes it practically unbearable to the point the reader stops reading not because the story disinterests them, but because sloppy, distracting writing makes them want to stop. A fluid story is a good story; nobody wants to feel like there's a stop sign every twenty feet. To remedy this one must just keep writing and learn. The first story is predominantly the worst thing someone'll ever write, and unless one learns that will never change. Messy writing loses a reader's attention and could even lose their respect. The more fluid the writing, the clearer the window is between the reader and what the author is saying.

I've been proofreading ponyfiction for people for about a year now. I've dipped my feet in stories from a few thousand words to a few hundred thousand, and by now I'd like to think of myself as being pretty adept. I like to think that the errors I point out are the correct ones and that I hadn't missed any in my one, occasionally two passes of a document. By now, I think I've got an idea of what I'm doing but by no means do I think of myself as a professional, and I surely acknowledge that I do make mistakes in my proofreading, even if I'm not aware of them.

That all being said, I feel like sharing what I've learned over the past year in an effort to help clean that window. I'm sure even now that some of the things I identify as rules are wrong or just have rough kinks in them, but I, and I'm sure a lot of you too, would like to marginalize that as much as possible. SPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
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5532

File: 1369106580636.jpg (56.5 KB, 461x277, 13912725_gal.jpg)

For Peace's sake, just say second person is a point of view and be done with it. This argument is completely inane otherwise.

Another Set Of Eyes Sal !S570SjDkx. 5580

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Prereading, proofreading, and editing. Perhaps you've done some of these or had it done to one of your stories. These terms have been tossed around before, often interchangibly, but one doesn't exactly mean the same thing as another. True, there are similarities between the three, but there are vast differences as well. It'd probably be best for me right now to give a breif description of each, which will then be expanded on later.

Prereading is when someone is just a prereader, meaning they read a story before anyone else, before it gets published to the masses. A prereader often gives the author tidbits of information, like what parts of a story they found interesting or just didn't like. But this information isn't necessarily helpful, and it doesn't have to nor should it be expected to.

Proofreading is when someone acts like a prereader, but they do more; instead of just reading they proofread the story for errors within the text. Whether they be grammatical, technical, or just things for the author to consider, the comments a proofreader leaves are to help the fluidy of the text, making the story clean of errors and thus easier to read before being published.

Editing is when someone goes beyond proofreading, getting themselves inside the author's head to make sure there are no faults in the story itself, not just in the text. An Editor is, in a sense, like a second author or more accurately a sub-author. Whatever an editor does often has profound influence on the story, anything from changing an ordering of events to even introducing and removing scenes or motifs. Of course everything is up to the author on whether or not any of that happens, and an editor does not do any writing themselves, nonetheless they make sure the author takes the story down its intended path and offers input for the greater good of the story being told.

I would like to go the record to say that I do not work for Equestria Daily, the Training Grounds, or whatever similar public service there is because I know I'll be bringing them up. All my proofreading and editing takes place privately within a close inner circle of friends. Nonetheless, it just about always helps for an author to get another set of eyes on whatever they're writing, if not for the writer's sake but the story being written. Any help at all is something to be thankful for, and the fact thatPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


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Amazon start publishing licensed fanfiction 5552[View]

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5575

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>>5574
I'm curious about what their policy on posting your own story on other sites is. I could see this working in the event of writing an epic, posting it on the site of your choice, and linking to the Amazon page with the message "If you enjoyed the story, please consider buying it here and supporting me as well as the show you love!" or something to that effect. I can't imagine there being too many sales unless the writer was a legend amongst their fandom and people were actually willing to shell out money for what had been free before.

5577

>>5575
Actually, Amazon says that if you want to sell something on Kindle, original or not, than it can't be read on the internet for free beyond a short preview.

5579

File: 1369329297723.jpg (78.05 KB, 499x748, 2MM80.jpg)

>>5577
Then I predict this is going to flop. People aren't going to pay for fanfiction. It's like buying porn on the internet, as several sites have mentioned.


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An Open Examination of First Chapters MintyRest!xMcCHESToY 5535[View]

This doesn't apply as heavily related to one shots, but what elements are important almost exclusively to first chapters.

Fundamentally, what makes the difference between a story that you will read in it's entirety, and a story that you'll forget about in a few hours?

Sure plot hooks are a part, but what's the difference between a hook that works and one that flounders?
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Tactical!fRainBOoMw 5549

>>5539
I'll write a good hook using nothing but "tell."

Fuckin' watch me.

>>5541
This zebra right here.
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5565

File: 1369262539316.jpg (166.32 KB, 318x472, 100yearsof.jpg)

>>5549
>I'll write a good hook using nothing but "tell."
http://books.google.com/books?id=pgPWOaOctq8C&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_atb#v=onepage&q&f=false
This may interest you. It's taught me more about "Show, don't Tell" than anything else I've ever read.
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Pascoite!uxy6g7ov9I 5566

For one thing, correctly using its and it's.

Heh.


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Why do you write? soundslikeponies!bQsJPGMNfw 5398[View]

Simple question. How you got into writing, what you hope to achieve doing it, what aspect of it you like most… What drives you, /fic/?
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5554

File: 1369245135702.jpeg (77.58 KB, 500x499, 262660__safe_humanized_derpy-h…)

>>5548
Dang, I didn't get into my writing subject of choice until I reviewed AppleShy Series for TTG. I feel kinda stupid now.

Anonymous 5556

>>5554

>didnt get into my subject until


Stop right there, criminal scum.

Clop is not "my subject." Neither is anything else. Someone who's stil learning shouldn't have a "main" subject if they really want to grow and develop.

Why yes, that statement *was* aimed at you, very perceptive of you.

5561

>>5556
I meant that it's strange that most of the stories that got me into fanfiction much like the ones I write. Memories in a Bottle is the one exception, but that story isn't really shipping per say.


File: 1358401201437.png (378.01 KB, 521x410, 212831__UNOPT__safe_princess-l…)

The Training Grounds: HNNNNG Edition Anonymous 3448[View][Last 50 Posts]

#Reviewer #Training Grounds

Greetings all, and welcome to the Training Grounds, the review thread for all authors, reviewers, proofreaders, and editors, both newcomer and seasoned veteran alike. It isn't the only such thread, but it's usually the busiest! (Previous edition of The Training Grounds; The sticky, which contains important information)

If you're a reviewer, old or new, and you want feedback on your review, please put a "*" at the front of the subject line of your review post.
Writers: Submission guide | TL/DR of the submission guide | List of TTG regulars | Submission form | List of recently-finished reviews | Reviews in progress
Reviewers: How to review | List of unclaimed requests
Maintainers: The full, current active queue | Statistics and queue-dump text for thread updates | A guide to how it's all organized
Live communication: The IRC channel
Some Notes:
  • Do jump in and participate if you can. New reviewers, editors and authors are always welcome!
  • No one is infallible. If something doesn't seem right, ask about it! Whether it be about a review you've received, a fanfic submitted, or something about the queue spreadsheet, the best way to solve it is through communication.
  • If you think you've been missed: please remind us with a link to
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Review request 5475

Title: For Candy
Author: Bob From Bottles
Tags: Comedy
Synopsis: Lyra messed up. She admits it. But really, Bon Bon should have been more careful with where she left unguarded bowls of delicious sweets. Now, to set things right and save their 'Night Before Nightmare Night' party, Lyra is determined to search all of Ponyville for replacement candy. Even the untested haunted house designed by Pinkie Pie.
Link to chapter five: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vywvlfavrPQMg4dGP06QNOPE4e9sbHo_mkdLIqQC8M8/edit
Link to summary of previous chapters: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Od5uLctO281ZFOA42Jzd0Gpm_puvK3n-4YWoa9mUzq0/edit
Comments: I would like to get chapter five reviewed. Thank you in advance.

The Tree FullmetalPony 5492

File: 1368924954924.png (857.65 KB, 800x888, Thetree.png)

Author: Fullmetal Pony
Word count: 7420:
Tag: slice of life
Description: Apple Bloom makes a discovery that could throw Sweet Apple Acres into chaos.
Links: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tx3VS21WM3Fyh7we2ZsThwLivlFQHHgdr1MuWKe3R8M/edit?pli=1

Claiming The Six-Pointed Star alexmagnet 5533

File: 1369107260661.gif (3.38 MB, 480x270, 132815768991.gif)

It's been a goddamn long time since I've claimed anything here, so here goes. I'm gonna try and clean up some of the fics clogging the queue since they've, apparently, been stagnating for quite awhile. Let's hope I still know what I'm doing…


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Let's play a game. Filler 5213[View]

#Game

It's that time of year again, gents. The first and second times were a couple of the biggest failures to happen on /fic/, but you know what they say–third time's the charm. The rules are as follows:

1. Each player signs up whenever; players will go in order of sign up. Player 1 gets to choose how it starts, but not where it goes.
2. Each player writes one page, which should be around four to six hundred words. Should the page break come mid-sentence, so be it. The next player will pick up where you left off.
3. No messing with fonts and sizes, and don't break established formatting.
4. Nothing should break MLPChan rules. That should go without saying.
5. Player slots are first-come-first-serve except for player slot 1, which if contested, will be determined by a die roll.
6. No bitching about what someone's already written. This is a game, and no one likes that guy who bitches about shit. We all know this is going to end poorly one way or another, so if it's going to crash and burn, it's going to do so spectacularly.
7. Have fun.
7a, subsection 5, paragraph 2: Rules one through five are malleable.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1q124xcnwxciKnb7OXwFZsTjrvUeBj3QaiQ78j3GtXPY/edit
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5458

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Ahem.

5474

>>5458
Oh dear. In between the screwed turn order and my internet coming down for a couple days, I've completely lost track of our game. I'll have an entry posted tomorrow.

5478

File: 1368819541602.jpeg (118.1 KB, 640x480, Writer_Melancholic.jpeg)

I'm afraid I'll have to pass this time. I've got less and less time with the finals approaching, and I couldn't get even the slightest bit of writing squeezed in today.

Sorry for taking up everyone's time. Next person can go.


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Corsairs; Requesting criticism on a fic im working on Jurassick 5431[View]

Looking for brutally honest criticism on a fic I'm writing about technology versus magic focusing on Victorian era pirate ponies and futuristic-esque diamond dogs.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/102945/corsairs
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5434

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>>5433
The sticky is the very first thread on the board. It is always the first thread since it's stuck there. Ergo, "sticky".

Anyways, there are already threads made for writers to ask for reviews. Please ask in one of those; the Training Grounds is the most active of them. Make sure to read the thread's rules before submitting to it.

5435

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>>5434
This, basically. Welcome to /fic/, Jurassick, where there is no tl;dr. You can find a list of review threads (they're marked #Reviewer) at >>159.

Also, I already told you, Sturm–if you're going to make a read-the-sticky post, copy and paste the relevant parts of it. You could have saved a post.

Thread saged.

(Edit: I'm a mod. Usually, my name says "!!Spike ## Mod", but I messed that up.)
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Ion-Sturm 5436

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>>5435
>Also, I already told you, Sturm–if you're going to make a read-the-sticky post, copy and paste the relevant parts of it. You could have saved a post.
Ah, bork it all.


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DemPonies's Mystical Thread of Writing 3722[View]

#Author

Greetings, fellow denizens of the internet!

I am DemPonies, and if you are reading this, you have stumbled upon my author thread here on mlpchan. Why an author thread? Becuase all the cool kids on this board's got an author thread, and I'm a cool kid dammnit!

Here I will put my stories, future chapters of those stories, and whatever else I damn well please.

If you want to contact me, you can find me here (http://www.fimfiction.net/user/DemPonies) or ping me while I'm lurking in the IRC chat.

Twilight's Odyssey

[Adventure][Alternate Universe]

Synopsis: In an Equestria where Discord never was, and the Pony Princesses never came to power, a young Twilight Sparkle loses her family in a crowd during the Summer Sun Celebration. Little does she know that her very existence is about to set a series of events into motion that will take her far beyond the borders of Equestria itself—and change the fates of both her nation and her life, forever.
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New chapter! 3759

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Forgot to put this here last night, but the second chapter of Twilight's Odyssey, called Examination, has been published.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/24518/2/twilights-odyssey/chapter-2-examination/24518/twilights-odyssey

Was up in the feature box for an hour or so, too! Until it was usurped by a Twixie fic… oh, well.
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Chapter 3! 5402

Chapter 3 (called "Talking with a Princess") is finally up and can be read here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/24518/3/twilights-odyssey/chapter-3-talking-with-a-princess

Failing to come up with something witty to say here. Go read it if you've got the time!

Tactical!fRainBOoMw 5404

It disappoints me that ponified memes tend to be inferior. Lyra's face doesn't have the same annoyed, accusatory look that Mr. Turner's does.


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Community event/activity/collaboration !AppLeJAcK. 5150[View]

In considering a new possible activity for the community to have during this long off-season, I think perhaps this time it would be best to have everyone's open input on it, and brainstorm for ideas instead of picking one of the common, old standbys we usually use.

So what should we do? How should we do it?
Make it some kind of contest, but with a new twist? A collaborative effort between both artists and writers?
A comic of some kind, with the reward the finished work, or a series of contests where an art contest determines a fic contest or vice versa, with prizes?
Or a community game with art/writing as part of it?

Any ideas are welcome, and feel free to bring up anything you come up with.
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Sage 5394

>>5393

I only recently got into PC gaming, so my grasp on the terminology and logistics of it are tenuous for me at the very best right now.

The message said "cannot connect to key server" and then I went on the forums and saw people were having trouble with game keys.

A bad connection to make between them, true, and I'm an idiot for it, but have patience and I'll hopefully start sounding like I have a clue what I'm doing soon with this soon enough.

It's working fine now regardless of my incessant prattling, so whatever the issue was has been apparently fixed.

Tactical!fRainBOoMw 5397

>>5394

Oh sorry I should have replied to Azu's post. He was offering a totally irrelevant solution.

sage 5401

>>5394
cannot connect to key server means that steam ran out of 'keys' to give out. These keys are typically invisible, and automatically activated when you purchase the game. If you cannot connect to the key server, it means that steam ran out of game keys to distribute, and you have to wait until the publisher gives them more before you can play.

It rarely happens. Usually when an old game goes on sale and sells better than steam would have thought.


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Worldsingers, a Collaborative Project 5350Locked[View]

Welcome to WorldCorp, your one-stop shopping destination for realms, planets, and planes. Please fasten your seatbelt and keep you limbs within a reasonable radius of your keyboard at all times.

Worldsingers is a collaborative effort to create a world licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike license (CC BY-SA 3.0), which you can find here: (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/), with attributions made to “Worldsingers.” While it is the intention to make a world which has a Friendship is Magic feel, there’s no guarantee of the finished product sharing much of anything with FiM.

While this thread is on the /fic/ board, that doesn’t mean that members of other boards can’t participate, with the intention of eventually moving over to other boards like /art/ and /rp/. Ultimately, the goals here are 1) to host an event to facilitate camaraderie among MLPchan-goers of the various boards and 2) to have an expansive, interesting, and inspiring world open to the public for anything from role-playing to art to writing to music or to whatever the heart's desire, given they follow the license.

Now on to everyone’s favorite part:

The Rules:
1. Sign up below if you want join.

2. Each participant will be in charge of a certain part of the world, chiefly:

a. Geography and History
i. Cartography (if desired)
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5381

>>5380
If I might pop in and appeal this, the reason this is in /fic/—whether pony-related or not—is because it's primarily aimed at the /fic/ community. I'm sure they're quite nice, but honestly, this isn't (at the moment) for /rp/ or /ooc/ (unless I'm gravely mistaken). This was made as a /fic/ collaboration project; I don't think myself, Ion, or DemPonies regularly trawl the /rp/ board.

5382

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Sorry for the absence, sleep wanted her eye-crust back.

>>5380
>I'll hold off on moving the thread for now, but if this is as related to MLP as Edgeville, it should be treated the same way.

Just one more clarification in-thread for everyone:
In order for a Creative Commons license to work, the makers have to hold the copyright. If the world is a "derivative" of MLP:FiM, then Hasbro technically holds the copyright, and we have no right to apply the license. Therefore, Worldsingers is not derivative, but rather inspired by MLP.

I can talk about specifics elsewhere, if that is necessary.

Anonymous ## Mod 5383

Moved to >>>/ooc/12632.


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Azusa's Review Thread: Magical Lesbian Edition 4825[View]

#Reviewer

Stay awhile, and listen.

Next month will be the anniversary of when I started seriously reviewing pony fic, so I decided to start a review thread. I've reviewed around 25 stories on The Training Grounds.

Read Me
>Use Google Documents if you want more than a tl;dr review.

>I reserve the right to review only the first chapter of a multi-chapter story if it has more than sentence level problems.


>I am willing to review non-pony fiction if your story seems interesting.


>Bug me in the #fic IRC channel on Canternet if you feel that I'm taking too long. Link: http://derpy.me/TFaOm


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Twilight's Odyssey ch 2 - review 5204

>>5121
So far so good. I was a bit worried about the part that happened on the show, but you kept it interesting.

I think I've figured out why your characterization of Shining Armor in chapter one isn't so good. See, when he yells at Twi and tries to be an authority figure, Twilight should've responded with disrespect, since Shining isn't her father and has no real authority over her. "You're not my dad." Or something along those lines.

Twilight's Odyssey - review 5334

>>5121
Okay, I finished chapter three. My comments are in the doc.

Do you want me to review chapter four when that's ready? My turnaround for that would hopefully be quicker for that.

Review acknowledgement 5340

>>5146
>>5204
>>5334

Thanks for the reviews!

Sure, I might throw Chapter Four in here once I'm done with it :)


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Soundslikeponies' Awesome Author Thread 953[View]

#Author
Have you ever been kept up at night by annoying questions such as ‘what is the meaning of life?’ ‘what is true happiness?’ or ‘did I leave the stove on?’ Well good news! My stories guarantee you’ll forget your difficult philosophical ponderings as your house burns to the ground around you!

Anyways, between finishing one of my fics and starting my third, I figured now would be a good time to make an author thread, where I’ll be posting updates and new fics. I have a couple more stories planned, and will soon be able to get back to pumping out 2 chapters a week, with a pretty even balance of shipping and non-shipping for everyone to enjoy. I write almost exclusively about the main characters (and the princesses) but I might do something centered around a background pony someday. (tl;dr: here’s my user page: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/soundslikeponies)

We'll Keep In Touch

[Romance][Slice of Life]

By: soundslikeponies

Synopsis: Left only with a promise to keep in touch, Rainbow Dash struggles to convey her feelings, and to figure out what the words were that she couldn't say on that last snowy night at the train station before Twilight left. As everyone slowly drifts apart, Dash will have to put in the effort if she wants to keep her friends together.

Fimfiction Link: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/70396/well-keep-in-touch
Equestria Daily Link: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2012/12/story-well-keep-in-touch.html
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New Chapter! soundslikeponies!bQsJPGMNfw 5114

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Well, I didn't really expect that last post to actually get anyone.

Chapter 26 of Flying High, Falling Hard is out!
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/3391/26/flying-high-falling-hard/chapter-26-return-to-the-everyday
Chapter title: Return to the Everyday

Now back in Ponyville, things are finally starting to calm down for Twilight and Rainbow Dash as they both try to put what happened behind them. Meanwhile in Canterlot, Soarin' takes Spitfire out to dinner to help her wind down after the whole experience.
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New Chapter! soundslikeponies!bQsJPGMNfw 5206

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Chapter 14 of Equestria from Dust is out!
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/33610/14/equestria-from-dust/part-14-spirit
Chapter title: Part 14: Spirit

Celestia and Luna step through the portal to another part of Celestia's dream: a harsh world of wind and snow. Taking shelter in a cave, they find that the cave has a tunnel which leads deep under the cliff.

New Chapter! soundslikeponies!bQsJPGMNfw 5333

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Chapter 27 of Flying High, Falling Hard is out!
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/3391/27/flying-high-falling-hard/chapter-27-a-date
Chapter title: A Date

Twilight and Dash finally go out on what's technically only their second date, while Soarin' takes Spitfire on a night out to try to help take her mind off things.


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